Letters (4): From Nikki with Love

A/N: G00d day, EB readers! 

Like all of you, I have not fully recovered from Richard and Maya’s memorable DATE, DANCE and KISS!!!  I am one of those who have watched the June 28 episode over and over again.

Also inspired by the events that transpired in BCWMH last June 26 & 28, 2013, here is a letter for Daddy Richard from his mini me, his middle child and his eldest daughter, Nikki Grace Lim.

I did not intend for From Daddy with Love to be followed by From Luke with Love.  From the looks of it, more letters may be coming real soon.  So I have aptly labeled my previous letter from Abby as Letters (3) From Abby with Love. Let’s consider this as Letters (4): From Nikki with Love… 

 Letters (1): From Daddy with Love

Letters (2): From Luke with Love

Letters (3): From Abby with Love

The words Richard spoke that might have caused Nikki to have a change of heart— 

“I never thought that you would disappoint me this way, Nikki… You may go…”

Happy reading, everyone!

Author: iamgarie

~*~

Letters (4): FROM NIKKI WITH LOVE

By iamgarie

To my ever dearest Daddy,

Happy Fathers’ Day!

Kuya, Abby and I have just finished watching a movie here at home. Dad, G-R-R-R talaga si Kuya! Abby and I were not able to finish the romcom we were watching cos he switched to watching horror! He’s so pikon kasi! Oh my gee, Dad! Now, I can’t sleep na. And you’re not even home yet from your date with Ate Maya. I have no one to make sumbong Kuya to. He’s so G-R-R-R talaga!

Dad, thanks ha for not getting mad that I cut school yesterday. I promise it won’t ever happen again. I just really needed to go to Mom and talk to her. I love you, Daddy! And the last thing I would ever want to do is disappoint you. By saying the things I said yesterday, and by being such a terrible person these past weeks, I know I have not only disappointed you, but I also made you really sad and lonely. Being with Mom yesterday somehow helped me clear my head.

While I was with Mom, I had flashback scenes of the first time I met Ate Maya, then of Abby asking you if Ate Maya is your girlfriend, and then me asking you if you love her… Then Tita Rafi’s words came back to me, too. I haven’t told you this, Dad. The day Kuya said sorry to Ate Maya, I really felt so alone, so confused, and so hurt! I called up Tita Rafi hoping to get a kakampi against Ate Maya. Tita Rafi knew about you na pala, and she is very happy for the both of you. When I told her that I didn’t want Ate Maya for you, Tita Rafi’s words hit me hard, but still failed to lead me to a change of heart. She said na sana my reason for not liking Ate Maya is not as shallow as kasi she was once a yaya lang. She just hit the bull’s eye, Dad! Tita Rafi reminded me na you and Mom didn’t raise me to look down on other people. I was still blinded by my hurt, so I didn’t heed her words, and went on to call Lola. But even Lola told me she’s not in a position to judge Ate Maya cos she doesn’t know her well enough. I felt like I was such an outcast that night, Dad. I cried myself to sleep.

I don’t know how Mom did it, Dad. I only asked if I disappointed her na rin like I disappointed you. I already knew what her answer would be even before I asked. It dawned on me that Mom is the kindest person I know. She would never say or do anything that would hurt other people. I then realized na if she had met Ate Maya, she would have been really nice and kind to her, too! Everything that you said that morning came rushing back to me. I’m so, so sorry, Dad, for being so selfish and so matapobre!

I was kinda scared, but at the same time, so relieved, when you finally found me. I was ready to hear a mouthful from you na. But when all you did was hug me tight, smile at me, and comfort me, I knew I simply had to pour out my heart na. Thank you for that ‘talk’, Dad! I really needed that. You’re really the best Dad ever! I know you want me and Ate Maya to be okay na, that’s why I said makikipagbati na ko with her. Pero thank you for saying that you don’t want me to force it at once. I should simply start by respecting her muna. I’m okay with that, Dad! Thanks.

But here’s one more Fathers’ Day gift for you. I’d like to let you in on a secret, Dad. I realized something when we were with Ate Maya today. I was reminded of how it was so easy to like her because she’s a really, really nice person. She’s one of the kindest people I know. I was such a brat the first time we met, but she remained kind and pleasant to me pa rin. She reached out to me, Dad, even if I was always so harsh and mean to her. Abby may have been the very first among us to fall in love with her, but…  Although I won’t admit it in front of Ate Maya or the others just yet, I think I fell in love with Ate Maya a long time ago. I don’t know when it happened, Dad. It could have been in Baguio, or most likely even before that. But yes, she slowly grew on me! I love Ate Maya na pala! I have always been grateful to her for everything she has done for Abby. I may never admit it to anyone else, but you, Dad, but I believe Abby’s transformation was largely due to Ate Maya who has so lovingly looked after her then and til now…

Pero when I found out that Ate Maya was your girlfriend, all my love for her somehow flew out the window. I suddenly erased every beautiful memory we shared together.  The only appalling idea that stayed with me then was that she was Abby’s former nanny, and all I could imagine was how embarrassed I would be if other people found out about you guys. When you said then that you wouldn’t have loved her, if you didn’t see how much she loves us, I even tried to block off that truth. (Kuya reminded me again about that after he made amends with Ate Maya, and I blocked it off, just the same!) I have experienced Ate Maya’s love and devotion for our family firsthand, so I knew exactly what you were talking about. But my shallowness, selfishness, and immaturity and, I guess, even pride, overpowered that realization. Thank you for promising to help me deal with my issues against Ate Maya, Dad! You’re the sweetest talaga. Just give me time…

Now, everything is coming back to me na. Ate Maya has not only done so much for Abby. She has also done so much for me na rin pala. Even for Kuya. Looking back, without me realizing it, Ate Maya has really been a good friend to me na, Dad. She gave me courage in Baguio. Then she not only helped me choose a dress for the prom, she even agreed to chaperone me during prom night. I have had several ‘girl talks’ na rin pala with Ate Maya, Dad! When I don’t agree with your decisions at times (like when you wanted to meet and interview my possible date for the prom), Ate Maya always comes in to help me understand where you’re coming from, then I understand you better na. Ate Maya always gives the best advices, right, Dad? I know that even when she was here pa lang in the house, she has been a really good friend to you na, just like how Tita Rafi is with you. You always seem to seek Ate Maya out for advice especially when it comes to decisions about Abby. Come to think of it, I truly love what she has done for our family.  I did notice even then how you valued Ate Maya as a friend, Dad, and how she somehow made you smile.  I just didn’t expect you would fall in love with her.

Oh my gee, Dad! I am even proud of what Ate Maya has accomplished for herself! She’s worked so hard to become an FA! I even told Stacey and Megan some few weeks ago that I would like to follow the example Ate Maya has set– that I’ll study hard and finish college first before I entertain suitors. (You and Kuya should be smiling now, Dad! You don’t have to worry about me cos Ate Maya has shown me a good example.)

In the beginning, I thought Ate Maya was just being so pakialemara and all, that’s why I always hurled hurtful words at her. (Have you noticed it yet, Dad? I’m a lot like you! Haha! You were also so mean to Ate Maya when she first came. Don’t ever think I have forgotten that.  You were the meanest of the mean, Dad! Haha!) Pero that’s just Ate Maya pala being the loving and caring Ate Maya we have all grown to love as family.

I think we’re all closer now, because Ate Maya made an effort to bring us all together. Come to think of it, Dad, the many changes that happened to our family are all thanks to her, I guess. Before she came, we were all on our own. We were all still hurting from Mom’s loss. Oftentimes, I would cry myself to sleep wondering if the pain will ever go away.  I felt so sad and so alone.  Para kasing I didn’t just lose Mom, but I lost our entire family. You were too busy with work to even spend time with us. You and Kuya were always fighting. I was always so scared to even come near you then, even if I always tried my best to bring us close together and be what Mom was to all of us. And then Abby was just so difficult to handle for all the nannies who came to take care of her. Now that I think about it, all that changed when Ate Maya came. Her positive energy healed Abby….

You know what, Dad? When Ate Maya came, she was such a puzzle to me! I just didn’t get her at all! She was so G-R-R-R talaga in a major way!  She was just so loud and always all smiles! I didn’t think she was for real! I have never met anyone who is not afraid to come near you (except Mom, of course!) nor had the courage to argue with you. Ate Maya really has spunk! Ate Maya brought about a positive change in all of us. It all started with her teaching Abby to kiss you good night, then with her always initiating happy conversations during our quiet mealtimes, then with her trying to convince you to allow Abby to go to the park… Oh my gee, Dad! Ang kulit-kulit lang talaga ni Ate Maya, diba? And yung kakulitan niya brought us all together, I guess.

When you told me how disappointed you were about me, Dad, I felt so bad talaga. I was just so G-R-R-R! I felt my world crumble. My tears just kept falling from my eyes. Parang my heart really wanted to explode. As your daughter, I always want to make you happy and proud of me kasi. I never want to be the cause of your pain or sadness. The last thing I would ever want to do is disappoint you, Dad!  I just love you so much, Daddy!  Then when I went to see Mom and realized just how disappointed she must be about me, as well, it was then that I realized what should truly matter. Why should I even bother about other people’s opinions, if  it will only lead me to disappointing the two people I love the most in the world? I love you and Mom so much, Dad! I don’t ever want to disappoint you again. Your happiness matters to me. I no longer want to be a hindrance to your happiness, Daddy.

When Mom left us, I never thought we would ever recover from her loss. It took us at least five years to finally accept that she’s gone for good. I told you some time ago that I have been ready to see you go out on dates, Dad. I meant what I said then. I hoped and prayed really hard then that you’ll find yourself a nice woman who will always make you happy and make you whole again after being so broken and after feeling so alone when Mom left. I fervently prayed that you find someone who will not only love you, but love us, too.

I just realized it now. Ate Maya is the answer to my prayer, Dad. She makes you happy and whole, and she loves you as much as she loves us, too! She’s the best thing that can ever happen to you, to us… I now KNOW that Ate Maya is truly the one for you. 

Be patient with me, Dad. I just can’t help it.  Bigla na lang lumalabas talaga, eh.  I know naman I’m wrong, pero I can still be mean sometimes.  I love Ate Maya naman and I really, really do like her as a person. I’m always the first to say naman that she’s family, diba? Just give me more time to adjust to your situation now. Soon enough, I will come around, and truly ACCEPT her as the only one for you.

Oh, wait, I think you’re back from your date with Ate Maya na… I want to go say hi muna and also make sumbong si Kuya! Haha!

It’s after midnight now, Dad, and you, Kuya and I just had the best time and convo ever over cups of hot choco for us and a cup of coffee for you! You look oh so happy, Daddy! I am just so happy for you! Kuya just said he loves you!  Me, too, Dad!  I love you! And then you said, you love us rin! Oh my gee, Dad, I super love our family talaga! Mom must be looking down on us now from heaven feeling immense joy and contentment cos we’re all okay na! Oh, we’re so sweet! Don’t even listen to Kuya! It’s true naman, ah. We’re really so sweet naman, eh!

And also, Dad, please tell Ate Maya that what I said kanina is true. It’s okay to make akbay and be sweet to each other. Holding hands is okay, too, Dad!  It’s your nature to be sweet.  I have seen how sweet you were with Mom.  You are very sweet to me and Abby, too. It’s okay to be sweet. You know, Dad, I did sense how upset and frustrated you were when Ate Maya asked you to remove your hand from her shoulder kanina.   Haha! You guys don’t have to worry about being sweet in front of me.  I’m sure I will get used to it in time.

Dad, about the prom pala. I remembered something that Tita Grace said when she was here in the house before. Diba she thought then that you were dating Ate Maya? Was prom night the night you fell for Ate Maya, Dad? Did everyone in your table think the way Tita Grace thought? Haha! I would love to hear you tell me about your love story someday soon, Dad!

I love you so much, Daddy! Happy, Happy, Happy Fathers’ Day!  You will always be my hero!

Love,
Your baby, Niks

(Written: early morning, June 29, 2013)

*******

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13 thoughts on “Letters (4): From Nikki with Love

  1. Pingback: Letters (12): To Chard, From Rafi with Love | Excess Baggage

  2. Pingback: Letters (13): To Mommy with Love | Excess Baggage

  3. Pingback: Why Maya is the One – Part 2 | Excess Baggage

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