Have Faith 10 – Realizations ; Have Faith 11 – I’m Sorry

This is a continuation of Have Faith 9 – Lim

Author : christine24m

CHAPTER 10

Richard was with Maya during her ride back to Manila. He was there, sitting beside her the whole time, watching over her. He was glad to finally see Maya doing better. But he can also notice that Maya is missing something.

Who could it be? Is it Simon? Damn Richard, are you jealous again?

 

Richard assured that Maya was safe before he left. He needs time off. He wants to be alone. He needs to rethink things as he is confused himself.

Maya will be fine when I’m gone. She was fine even before I came into her life.

 

Richard decided to take a stroll at a nearby park. Even though it’s early in the morning, there are already a lot of people. He put his hands inside his pockets and started to walk. He simply missed this – no rush, no problems, no troubles, and just walking and appreciating God’s gift.

As he was walking, he couldn’t help but to notice kids playing. The first thing that popped from his mind is “Don’t they have classes?” Then he looked closer and found out that they were still toddlers.

Richard sat on the grass to finally start his thinking. He’s still watching the kids and realized how he missed the feeling of a simple touch.

I wonder what I’ll feel while I’m sitting on the grass. I forgot the feeling of the sun’s warmth. I forgot what it’s like to feel the wind on my face or even a drop of rain. I forgot what coffee tastes like. He could only sigh. I miss being me.

 

How can I be so .. so careless?Why did I die so soon? If ever I can go back to the past, I would screamat my old self and told him that I shall not die so soon! Yes, somehow I’m glad that I’m an angel, but still, I would’ve love to stay being human..

 

For once, I regret what had happened to me. I wonder what really happened to me. Was I sick? Did I get murdered? Whose fault is it? Was it mine? Or was it an accident?


An accident?

 

Is as if his memory slapped him on his face. He decided to close his eyes. And when he did, he saw his last moments on Earth.

 

 I was someplace high. I was in the air. Was I flying? No … I’m .. I’m on a helicopter. Yes. We own that grey helicopter. I didn’t mind the breathtaking view, for I was just focused on the road. I’m thinking about something. Was it something or someone? Why am I smiling? Is what I was thinking the reason why? Wait .. why .. why is the pilot sweating? Are we in trouble? .. Yes, we were in trouble. He .. he said that he can’t control the vehicle anymore. I .. I was so scared. I still have something to do back then. What was it? I can’t seem to remember but I know it’s something important.Yes, I remembered that I was about to jump when I saw the pilot stuck inside. He .. he’s telling me to jump but .. but I went back inside to help him. And .. and that’s the end. We hit a mountain. There’s fire .. explosion .. smoke, everything! I just felt that I hit the sea. The pilot was coming near me, but , but I passed out.

 

When he opened his eyes, he was gasping for air. That’s what happened to me?

He tried to recall those memories again and that’s when he fully confirmed that it is indeed his past. Did I die because of that? What about my family? What happened to them? Did they mourn over me or they didn’t care because I’m a black sheep?

 

I want to remember my family.

 

No! Stop it, Richard! You can’t remember your family yet. You might be gone soon! Just wait Richard. He continued to argue with himself.  He gave a sigh. This is harder than I thought.

 

Why do I  have so many questions?

 

He decided to think of other things and the first thing that came to her mind is Maya. Am I really in love?

He closed his eyes, remembering Maya’s face, her smile, and her eyes. He found himself smiling at the sight of her in his memory. He recalled their first encounter, his first touch as an angel, the first time that Maya cried for him, and he remembered the way she feels in his arms. I want to touch her again. I want to feel her again.

He then recalled Maya’s accident. There’s no comparison to what he felt that time. He’s not just scared that he cannot fulfill his duty. But he’s simply scared at the thought of loosing Maya. How badly he wants to comfort her when her phobia attacks. He just wants to gather her in his arms, to kiss her head and to tell her that everything’s going to be alright no matter how many times he says it. Even though they got into an argument, he’s still there, worrying about his mortal.

It’s a shame that I’m just here for a while. I’m going to leave her soon. I wished that I’ve met her when I was still me. I could’ve asked her out. I could’ve made her fall in love with me and I could’ve told her that I’m in love with her.

Richard smirked at his realization.

It’s all clear now. Yes. I am in love.

As soon as he admitted that to himself, he frowned.

I should be happy, but why do I feel so sad? Like I’m carrying something that is so heavy? Oh, right. We can never be together. I’m just somebody who people just pass through, an immortal that people cannot see, a used-to-be man that cannot be heard, and an angel that has no wings. Maybe those are the reasons why.

But I must not lose hope. Because Maya will always be there to listen to me and to treat me like I’m still living. She couldn’t have been more perfect. That’s why I fell. I fell in love.

He gave a final sigh. If only I was human.

 I love her but I can never be with her forever.

I have to let you go.

“Hija, are you okay?” Roberto asked as he saw Maya froze when she finally saw their son. He got even more worried when he saw that tears are falling down from her face.

Maya gently put the picture back to its place. “Excuse me po.” She said. She headed for the veranda. It might’ve been unbecoming to them but she just needs to be alone for a while and to let everything sink in her mind.

She saw stairs leading down when she reached the veranda. She went down and discovered that it leads to a garden. She saw a bench and sat on it, and then she continued to weep.

Bakit ako nasasaktan? Dapat nga masaya pa ko kasi nakilala ko yung anak nila diba? She said to herself. Pakiramdam ko tuloy, ang laki ng kasalanan ko kina Sir Robert. Ang tagal na nilang iniintay si Richard na bumalik pero heto ako, lagi siyang kasama, ni hindi ko man lang inisip na baka naglalakbay lang si Richard. Tapos ano pa Maya? Ayaw mo siyang umalis samantalang alam mong mas kailangan siya ng pamilya niya.

Baka mamaya, kapag bumalik siya sa katawan niya, hindi na niya ako maalala o kaya baka hindi na talaga siya makabalik sa katawan niya.

Hindi!Ayokong mauwi lang sa wala yung pinagsamahan namin. Ayoko mawala sa buhay niya. Ayokong umalis siya. Ayokong mawala si Richard.

Pero bakit Maya?

She closed her eyes for a moment, and tried to picture Richard’s face. He always makes her feel safe. Like whenever he’s around, nothing can harm her, not even an ant. He’s a good company. Maya loves their exchange of stories even though it’s quite dangerous for Richard’s part.

How she misses those chinky eyes of his, his smile and especially the words coming from his mouth. Every word he lets go seems to make Maya’s heart to flutter. Somehow, Richard can show her what it’s like to be taken care of, and Maya doesn’t want to let go of it.

She was drifted back to that shore, where they shared their first touch. Maya recalled how it felt so right to be in his arms that time. It felt like she belonged there. Like it was home. She wished she could’ve stayed longer, she wished Richard could’ve stayed human longer.

But she knew all too well that their time is limited.

Bakit ba ako naiyak? Ikaw kasi Richard eh! Dumating ka pa sa buhay ko ngayong anghel ka. Bakit hindi pa kasi nung buhay ka pa? Sigurado ako, kung nakikita mo ako ngayon, pupunasan mo tong mga luha ko at yayakapin mo ko. Parang nung niligtas mo ko. Hindi mo lang alam kung gaano ako kasaya nung nayakap kita. Hindi mo lang alam.

Mahal kita, Richard.

Mahal kita, pero kailangan kitang pakawalan.

CHAPTER 11

“Hija. Are you okay?” Roberto said when he saw Maya sitting at the garden.

“Ay opo, Sir. Pasensya na po.”
“it’s okay. Is something wrong? May I?” He said, asking Maya’s permission if he can sit beside her.

Maya could only nod. “Pasensya na po talga kayo Sir –“

“Call me Tito. Well, only here. Kapag sa trabaho, Sir na, okay?”

Maya gave a smile and wiped the remaining tears on her face.

“May problema ka ba Maya?”

Seeing Roberto’s innocent face, Maya decided to give in. How can she resist the man who looks exactly like her angel? “Uhm, na .. na –“

“It’s okay, Maya.” Roberto gave her a smile. “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready. You can count on me kahit na boss mo ako, okay?”

Maya could only give him a nod. Seeing Roberto this nice to her just makes her feel guiltier. If I told him about Richard, I’m sure that he would want to talk to him and it will lead to the recovery of Richard’s memory. Gee! It’s all too complicated! But I want to tell him so badly, if it wasn’t because of his situation. I want to tell him how his son is doing; how kind and thoughtful he is and how he made me fall in love with him. I just can’t. There’s too much at stake.

“Maya, let’s go inside? Esmeralda is worried about you. Dinner is also ready. That is, if you still want to eat with us? I could ask Joma to drive you home if you want-” Roberto brought her back from her reverie.

“Ay, hindi po. Tara na po sa taas.” She replied as she wipes her tears. She tried to put on a smile so that Roberto wouldn’t suspect anything.

..

Maya decided to continue the dinner between her angel’s parents and her. She never thought that they would actually be a good company. There was never a dull moment. The two kept asking Maya about her personal life and she willingly answers them. They even learned about her accident over the weekend. It made Esmeralda worry so much to the point that she even inspected her closely just to check if she still has those bruises.

“Maya, would you mind if I ask you kung bakit ganon na lang yung reaksyon mo nung nakita mo yung picture ni Ricky?” Esmeralda asked as they were having coffee.

“Uhm –“
“Esmeralda, don’t pry. Ayaw pag-usapan ni Maya eh.” Roberto said.

“May .. may naalala lang po ako nung nakita ko yung picture nay un. May kahawig po kasi si Sir Richard eh.”she lied.

“Ah, ganon ba?”
“Opo. Ehh para po siyang si Sir Richard eh. Yung isang araw, nawala na lang po bigla.” She suddenly remembered her angel. Her heart is torn at his suddent leave. How she wishes he could’ve stayed longer.

“He must be important to you, then. You cried, eh. At, hija, don’t call him ‘Sir”, Richard will do.” Roberto said.

“Ah, eh siguro po nga po, importante siya.”

Esmeralda smirked. “I know what’s the deal, Maya. You loved this guy, ano? I can see you blush whenever you think of him.”
Maya could only bow her head. “Ay, hindi po! Ano, ahh, natural po kasi sa akin yung ganito.”

She might deny it but Esmeralda and Roberto know the truth behind those actions Maya is showing. They can clearly see that she is really smitten by this guy she was talking about. The two couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret.

If only Richard is here. I’m sure that he’ll sweep Maya off her feet. She might actually be the one for him. Those are the thoughts that kept running through the couple’s minds. She’s perfect for you, Richard. Why did your incident came in such an inconvenient time, son?

 

“Uhm, Tita, Tito, ayos lang po ba kung .. kung bisitahin ko po si Richard minsan?” Maya asked. She wanted to see him so badly. She wants to feel him with her hands again. She just needs to see him.

“Siyempre naman, hija!” Roberto obliged. “I’m sure matutuwa si Ricky nito. Ehh kailan mo ba balak bumisita?”

“Ehh hindi pa po ako sure kung kailan eh. Sasabihan ko na lang po kayo.”

“Sure hija, let us know, okay?” Esmeralda said. “Anyway, you should be going. Ginabi ka na dito oh! Thank you very much, hija.”’
“Wala po yun. Maraming salamat din po.” Thank you po, kasi nakilala ko si Richard.

“Ihahatid ka na namin sa labas. Joma will drive you home.”

Richard decided to stay the night at the park. Maya will be safe, Richard. She’s better off without you. She was better off without you.The truth is, he misses her terribly. He doesn’t know why but for a reason, his heart aches to see her face and to see her smile again.

I wonder if she’s home by now? Did she already take her meds? Is she sleeping early? How was her work, I wonder? Is she busy? She knows well enough that she can’t be stressed!

 

With those thoughts, he could only sigh. Did I ever cross her mind? Does she miss me like I miss her?

 

Those thoughts kept running through his mind, and in the end, he fell asleep.

It was already morning when he woke up he’s still in the park, where kids and adults stroll early that morning. He decided to stay there and to think of the steps on what he will do next. After all, he’s here for a reason. Maya might be on the top of his priorities but he doesn’t want to sacrifice his mission.

I have to go back to her condo tonight. I might as well make the most of my time left with Maya.

 

 

….

 

Maya could not help but to form thoughts as she stride through the white interior of the place. It’s quite hard for her to believe that she just asked Roberto if she can see Richard. Yes, she was happy when the old man obliged, but she could not help but be nervous on what will happen if she sees him.

She stood in front of the door. Room 425. This is finally the room, the very same room that Roberto told her. The room where Richard is admitted.

Earlier that day, Maya asked Roberto if she can visit Richard today. The old man happily said yes and told her to go to this hospital and to proceed to Room 425. And now, she’s finally here. Unsure of what to do, she nervously lifted her hands and knocked on the door. After a beat, she twisted the knob.

She was welcomed with Esmeralda’s smile. Gladness was all you could see from her face at the sight of Maya. She stood up to give her a hug.

“I’m glad you made it, hija. Roberto texted me this morning saying that you’ll come.” Esmeralda started.

Maya could only give her a smile. She’s way too nervous to trust her own tongue to say anything. The telephone near Richard’s bed rang. Esmeralda quickly answered it.

Maya was rooted to her spot. She can’t seem to move. A body is clearly seen on the bed, lying down though she couldn’t see the man’s face. Is it him?

“Hija, bababa lang ako saglit ha? May kailangan daw akong pirmahan eh. I hope you don’t mind if I leave you here.” Esmeralda said.

“Sige po, tita. Magbabantay lang po ako dito.” She softly said.

Esmeralda gave her a smile before turning to go to the man lying on the bed. “Ricky, bababa lang ako, ha? Nandito naman si Maya. She’s a friend of me and your father’s. I’ll be back, okay?” she said to her son. Maya was in awe of her sight. The scene is simply tearing her apart. She could clearly see that they love their son so much, to the point that they don’t want to give up as they see that one day, he will still wake up.

Before it finally sank to her, she was left alone inside the room. She slowly went near the bed, her heart beating loudly at each step. Tears started to form in her eyes when she finally got a clear view of the person lying down. It is indeed him, her guardian angel. It’s Richard.

His chinky eyes are closed indicating that he is in a deep sleep. Many apparatus are attached on his body that she doesn’t know if he really needs all of them. She was glad when he felt his warm hand around hers when she held them. Gently, she lifted his hand and kissed it, and pressed it on her cheek afterwards.

“Hi Richard. Kilala mo kaya ako? Ako si Maya dela Rosa. Dumating ka sa office ko isang araw tapos ang sabi mo sa’kin, guardian angel kita. Hindi nga ako naniwala nun eh, kasi feeling ko malakas lang yung trip mo nun. Tapos pinatunayan mo nga sa’kin na anghel ka nga kasi lumipad ka.” She continued as she sobbed. “Tapos ngayon, hindi ko na alam kung nasaan ka na ba talaga. Nawala ka kasi bigla eh.” Tears continued to fall from her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Richard. I’m so sorry.” She continued. “Inaway kasi kita eh. Ewan ko ba sa sarili ko. Ayokong tanggapin na may sakit ako. Pero alam mo, tama ka. Kasi kailangan ko ngang gumaling kasi maraming nag-aalala sa’kin. Sorry talaga.”

She wiped her tears using her other hand then turned to look at him, studying his face like it was the last memory she’s willing to have. “Ang drama kasi ng istorya natin eh!” she chuckled. Then she sighed. “Alam mo Richard, sobrang miss na kita. Wala nang nang-aasar sa’kin. Wala nang laging nangti-trip.” She sobbed before saying the next words. “Hindi ko na nakikita yung ngiti mo.”

She let go of his hand for a second to wipe her tears. “Bakit ba ko naiyak? Di ba dapat masaya ako kasi buhay ka? May .. may pag-asang magkakilala talaga tayo. Di ba, Richard? Gusto kong sabihin lahat ‘to sa’yo kaso inaalala ko yung misyon mo. Pero para sa’yo, maghihintay ako. Maghihintay ako, Chard.”

Maya decided to let go of his hand and fix herself, knowing that Esmeralda may come back soon. She quickly took her phone from her bag and took a picture of Richard’s face. Her heart fluttered when she saw that her phone finally captured something, something that she’s willing to hold on while she waits.

..

How did I do all of these?

 

Richard is now standing inside Maya’s condo, staring at her dining table.  Somehow, he managed to set a plate, with a spoon and a fork on the opposite sides. Kare-kare was at the table along with a plate of rice on its side. At the centre of the table, there’s a single sunflower placed in a vase, candles were lit beside the vase.

Seriously, Richard, how?

 

He kept asking his self. He doesn’t really know how. It was already afternoon when he decided to back to Maya’s condo. Food was at the top of his mind, concerned that his human might not be eating well enough since he left. Different tricks were showed from his sleeves as he finds ways of getting the food. Next was relaxation. In Maya’s condition, Richard knew that this part was critical. Being relaxed is the only way to relieve Maya from her stress and to avoid her phobia.

First he thought that his imagination would get the best of him, but he was mistaken. He met his imagination, he even surpassed it. He was really surprised with what he has done. Excitement was shown on his face as he imagines Maya’s reaction when she sees this.

 

Maya.

 

A foolish grin crept through his face at the mention of her name. Ang dami talagang nagagawa kapag inspired, no Richard?

The sound of the door opening brought him back from his reverie. The woman he loves entered and stood frozen when at the sight of him.

Richard grinned. How he missed that face. How he missed her. “Welcome home.” He greeted.

Maya lifted her hand to pinch her cheek. Realizing there’s pain, she slowly walked in front of him. “Richard?” He nodded. “Kumain ka na ba? I hope not, because I prepared dinner.” He stood aside for Maya to see her dining area. He felt so proud of what he has done. He really wants Maya to be happy, but when he turned back to look at her, he just saw Maya staring at him, never taking her eyes off of her angel the moment she entered her condo.

“Are you okay, Maya?” he asked.

Maya could only nod.

“Eh bakit ganyan ka makatingin? Ngayon ka lang ata nakakita ng pogi eh!” he teased.

Maya replied with silence. Richard was alarmed by this. “Maya. Maya? Please say something. My thoughts are getting ahead of me again.”

This time, Richard could clearly see the tears forming in her eyes. “Maya.” He said, almost a whisper. “What’s wrong? Nakikita mo naman ako di ba? I know you can see me because I want you to. Are you okay? Did something happen while I was away? Geez!”

“Richard.” Maya whispered.

“Yes?” his head turned immediately when he heard her voice.
“I-ikaw na ba talaga ‘yan?”

Richard gave her a smile. “Yes. I’m here. I’m sorry if I left –“

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She said as tears rolled down on her face. It’s like she’s repeating what she said to the actual Richard minutes ago. Not knowing what’s going to support her, she sank down on her knees and covered her face with her hands. “Sorry talaga Richard.”

“Maya .. “ Richard sat on the floor so that he can level with Maya. “It’s okay. I’m sorry too. Dapat hindi kita iniwan.” He said but those words were unable to stop Maya from crying. “Hey, tama nang iyak. I don’t want to see you like this.” You’re just making me regret that I died sooner and that I can’t comfort you.

“I’m sorry, Richard.” I’m sorry. Hindi lang dahil sa inaway kita. Ang dami ko nang nalaman tungkol sa’yo na alam kong hindi ko dapat nalaman. Dapat hindi ka na lang bumalik para makabalik ka na sa katawan mo. Baka mamaya, masabi ko yung ibang detalye at maalala mo lahat. Tapos ang misyon mo hindi mo pa magawa. Kung alam mo lang kung gaano kakumplikado ang lahat. Dapat hindi ka na lang bumalik.

“It’s okay. Let’s just forget what happened. Tahan na. Bawal kang ma-stress diba? You know, if I can just touch you, I would wipe those tears away.”

Maya was now trying to stifle her sobs.

“Stop crying. Nakakahiya sa poging anghel sa tapat mo.”

Maya finally laughed. “Eto na, eto na.” She wiped her tears away and slowly stood up.

“There.” Richard said. “Come. You should eat.” Then he descended to go to the dining area.

Maya remained standing in that position, watching Richard move.

Maghihintay ako, Richard.

4 thoughts on “Have Faith 10 – Realizations ; Have Faith 11 – I’m Sorry

  1. oh my gieee, kilig ako talaga,…infairness mahaba to,..sana ganito ulet,..update niyo po kami agad,..nakaka-excite kc kung panu makababalik sa pagiging mortal si Richard,.. Tnx xoxo

  2. Pingback: Have Faith 12 – Almost | Excess Baggage

  3. Regret….yan ang na fefeel KO ngyn..ana tagal kong iniwasan basahin ang story na to I don’t know why? Pero nun finally nabasa KO yun chapter 4 na curious ako and ala ako masabi kc kakaiba yun story . nakaka touch yun every chapter…hay, what a great story.!

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